Aktion 23

aphilosophisch, apolitisch, areligiös, akünstlerisch, asexuell
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 Betreff des Beitrags: Chonk!? (englisch)
BeitragVerfasst: 14. Mär 2018, 10:20 
Warlord der Herzen

Registriert: 09.2010
Beiträge: 6423
Wohnort: eine alte Haunebu IV Flugscheibe
Geschlecht: männlich
Disorganisation: Comapony Kabale, Starfish Cabal, Company, D.A.D.
What's a Chonk?


The word chonk (2) is composed of the words "chaos" and "monk" and thus means chaos monk. The female form of it would be a chun. (Also there would be a lot to say about it, but this is another story and should be told another time).
There are many different forms and orientations of chonks (the chaos is colorful!), but I don't want to dwell on them here, because this would go beyond the scope and most of them (as far as I know) only exist in the future. Every chonk is constantly striving to seek, spread and (as far as possible) enjoy the chaos. The following refers mainly to the Erisian


In short, an Erisian chonk is someone who has consecrated his whole life to the goddess and lets himself be led by her. This naturally requires a high psychic and emotional pain threshold (3) and a highly developed ability to laugh at oneself, life, the universe and everything else (4).
The Chonk is anxious to remain as often and as long as possible in the state of holy confusion, and to lead others there as well, if they are willing to do so. Otherwise he spends his time spreading eristic vibrations, living out his madness and letting his goddess push him around.


The Chonk avoids being confused with the unbelievers by dressing in unusual clothes. Usually he wears a so-called chaos robe (5). He has to make these himself from found or otherwise accidentally acquired individual parts. If he can't sew, the better. The more chaotic the final result will be. Every chaos robe is unique. (uniformity contradicts the principle of chaos). Underneath it you wear what you want (or nothing at all, it's up to you.
If the Chonk wears shoes, they should be as dissimilar as possible.
In addition, he bears the symbol of his order, which is publicly visible. This can be a DisOrderring, a necklace, a special detail on, on, over, but not IN the robe, or anything else. This is determined by tradition and/or the Convention. Or it is diced (6).
Some orders also insist on the use of a so-called EC card, which identifies the wearer as an Erisian Chonk.
Many chonks also carry large shoulder bags (rarely backpacks) because they cannot store all their stuff (7) in the robe pockets and the inside of a bag is also an eternal refuge of chaos (portable sanctuary!).
WanderChonks also have long walking sticks to keep biting dogs and annoying trolls off their necks.

Way of life:

The Chonk lives either alone or in a pack. Together, Herd Chonks (Chaobites) form an unorder and follow katmic rules of error, which they call their statuettes (reduction form of statutes, see "creative spelling" Volume V). These are decided, contested or thrown out together in the Convention (6). The single living Chonk (Irremit) does what he (or YOU!) likes (8).
WanderChonks are mainly misleading, because the (around) world can hardly cope with the emission of large amounts of chaotic energy - as it is inevitably emitted by larger groups of chonks - unless it is filtered by walls. Therefore, chaobites only hike in groups of up to five people.
Beggar Chonks are also widespread, because who wants to set such a thing. They earn their livelihood by preaching in public places, singing erotic chorals, chattering in tongues or spreading chaos in any other way, and then letting themselves be paid to stop again. They also feed on the natural ingredients with which they are thrown.


Sedentary chonks live either in an abbey or in a monastery. An abbey can be pretty much anything, e. g. a shared flat, an occupied house, apartments more or less close to each other or even just a virtual place on the Internet. The abbey is led (who would have thought?) by an abbot. Abbot means father, and so it is his task to run the whole shop and to put consolation patches on the knees of his "sons". An abbot can become any person who is qualified to do so and who has the worst excuses in the election to shirk this office.

A typical cloyster has a kitchen, a writing room/library (9), a convent/common room, a dormitory, and for each Chonk a separate cloyster, in the form of a toilet; soundproofed, air-conditioned and comfortably equipped (10), for hours of meditation sessions (Sit-Zen), because it is proven that it is best to think (and relax) in the toilet. The cell is considered inaccessible to strangers, which is often the case.
There is officially a ban on silence in the common room, but this is not seen so closely there. In the dormitory, however, rest is called for. In front of the bed of each chonk there is a toy chest with his personal belongings (or the part of it that did not fit into his monastery cell). The contents of this box are inviolable to the confreres, everything else is common property.

Appendix X

Random examples of rules of erroneous order:
X. The Chonk is obliged to pray the Erisour five times a day in the Holy Prayer Direction (11).
X. The Chonk is obliged to react to every insult with a silly grin and to pray in thoughts a "lick me".
X. It's forbidden for the Chonk to get angry about anything or anyone else but Greyface, his minions and their machinations.
X. It is forbidden for the Chonk to remain serious for long periods of time without making a joke, faxing, strange movement or the like. An offence against this rule of error must be confessed immediately to the abbot, who will urge the Chonk to make up for what he has missed as soon as possible.
X. The Chonk is forbidden to eat cannibals.
X. It is forbidden to forbid the Chonk.
X. It is forbidden for the Chonk to keep slavishly to the rules. (This erroneous rule is traditionally at the end of EVERY erroneous rule)


(1) But only vegan!
(2) Not to be confused with the gifted actor and bong dealer Chong! (There must have been a creature called "Zonk" once upon a time.)
(3) Physically it would also be good. It is well known that she has many spontaneous ideas, which YOU usually find more fun than the people concerned. On the other hand, a pronounced death wish is not necessary, but sometimes quite helpful.
(4) In general, laughter is a sacred act for the EC, which is why it must not be afraid of making a fool of itself.
(5) Where this is not possible (school, prison, etc.) he insists at least on an unusual and/or irritating detail (pullover to the left, different shoes, anachronistic fashion or at least a funny hat).
(6) Of course, with a holy W5 (Apropopo: Does one of you have a small milling machine to make some? Would be a sales hit in discordic circles!
(7) Z.B.: Sacred cubes; eBook with discordic scripts; holy ale; reversal, color or VR glasses, holy confetti (stunged on Bureauflux); Fnords and much more.
(8) Just like Santa Pippilotta.
(9) For writing, editing and hoarding discordic literature and studying chaosophy.
(10) Upholstery glasses, reclining seat, bookshelf, minibar, etc.
(11) The Holy Direction of Prayer is not precisely defined, but is revealed each time anew by her. (Naturally individual. When we pray together, it's a nice mess. There are many different methods to determine the HG. The oldest is to turn around in circles with your eyes closed until you fall to the ground. The direction in which the head points is then the HG. Those who do not have enough space or are too fragile to do so usually use the Holy Guide instead, a compass-like instrument with a non-magnetic arrow instead of a compass needle, which is snapped on and turns until it points in the holy direction. It is also widely used by WanderChonks for orientation.

"Wir sind nicht der Abschaum. Wir sind der schillernde, toxische Schleim der auf dem Abschaum schwimmt ..."
Seine Spektralität Cpt. Bucky "Saia" Sternentänzer
alias Papst Cerrynt Eiledol von Welodd alias Nede E Lym von Leng alias Baktus Paradonti alias Dr. Dromis Seth, Master Phool im Outer Space, (Mitbe)Gründer der Univers-City of Sockovia, Moonman Winter Dream, aus der dritten Vergangenheit, General Error der Invasionstruppen, Captain der ersten erisischen Kompanei westlich von Osten, Hüter des hailigen GNARV und anderer nutzloser Dinge, Dunkelelfischer Bischof von Betty, Vorstand der Company auf Lebenszeit, Ernenner des Fonsis auf Zeit, der während eines Bades ehrenhaft erleuchtete, Beschützer des rauchenden Orakels am Stiel, exzellenter Züchter der feinsten Flugaffen nördlich von Reykjavík, Eiliger Hailigenpfleger der Aktion 23, (Er)Finder des Starfish Mythos, Transluzenter Geheimniskrämer und unter der Hand Händler, Schieberkönig der Unwissenden, Verfasser von nicht geschriebenen Werken, autorisierter Verkäufer von "Das LichtTM" und "SeelenheilTM", eingeweihter Oberanti der D.A.D. sowie Pharao Hypothep alias Pharao Pontifex zu Popanz von Paranoia Panoptikum, Bürokrat im Büro für Zweckentfremdung, Anwender von Methoden, Knazler und freier Beratzer auf Schloß Gammelot in Mottrop´s Tradition, Eidechsenkönig und Universalgott Nr. 5

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